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So the Marriage Equality debate is well and truly underway and we have seen some rather unexpected (read: highly expected) turn of events. But here we are about to spend $122 million but I would like to think about some of the other things we could have spent it on. Yes, this is overkill but so is this debate.
- Enough educational resources to teach millennials how to first enrol to vote, but maybe even enough teach them how to post a letter.
- All of UQ’s casual $5 & $7 parking paid for over 59 years.
- Funding Semper Floreat with the current budget for over 2,033 years.
- Show pride with 11,685,823 rainbow pride flags.
- 29 million medium coffees from the UQU outlets.
- Like UQ sustainabilities new Tesla Model S fleet? You too could buy 946 instead.
- Pay the current average annual base wage (approx $52,000) for over 2346 Brisbane bus drivers.
- You could probably even cover everyone catching public transport for awhile.
- 48,800,000 Bunnings sausages (maybe, even more, is if you find one of the clubs and societies sausage sizzle)
- 64,244 brand new 13” mac pros. Imagine that many first years…
- Support Queensland in 1,356,309 new Maroons Jerseys.
- Nearly 20% of the Newman Government’s tower of power at 1 William street.
- 1863 Weddings at $65,482 each according to a survey by Bride to Be magazine.
- Maybe buy all the textbooks I’m not going to use for the classes that require them.
- One and two-thirds of a publicly funded Cher Tour.
- Be like the Irish with electronic voting as it cost them $78m to implement and still have enough for a democracy sausage.
- Fully follow the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations requirement to end the transmission of HIV for nearly 4 years
- One and a third of a Brisbane to Melbourne high-speed rail at the Beyond Zero Emissions forecast cost.
- Providing public housing and homelessness services for 3,189 homeless people around Australia.
- Embrace real uni living and get 187,692,307 mi goreng noodles.
- 2,240 $50,000 university degrees.
- Eight million free tubs of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie.
- 28,354,430 loaves of Domino’s Garlic Bread. National free garlic bread day?
- Or the cheaper version which is 50,666,666 home brand garlic bread.
- 74 thousand puppies – SEVENTY. FOUR. THOUSAND. DOGGOS!!
- 71,7160 Armani suits.
- Over 30,000 week-long trips in luxury resorts in Bail.
- Provide the disaster relief Queensland requested after Cyclone Debbie (with some change to spare).
- Like so many jet skis, like at least over 12,000.
- Book Queens of the Stone Age 488 times.
- Invest in enough of local art to revolutionise the art scene in Brisbane
- 10 million fidget spinners – more than enough for one for each baby boomer still alive in Australia (around 6.3 million). Speaking of,
- 37 million avocados – finally a chance for Boomers to experience the greatest youth trend for 6 days in a row – just like the Special K challenge right?
- OR Two million mature avocado trees!
- 1,616 psychologists for a year or one free psych for each university for 37 years.
- 9.3 million jugs of XXXX beer from the RedRoom. #euphoric #putoutyourRSAs
- More than 55 million kilograms of brown onions to have a chomp on.
- Deliver Fiber to the premises for 35,321 homes around Australia.
- A study on lowering the voting age to 16, and maybe even the referendum for it too.
- 562 thousand pairs of 8” stiletto heeled boots to show how you slay.
- 704 thousand Viking cloaks from Tragic Beauty to equip our national navy with the most appropriate outfit.
- Funding to run the Australian Human Rights Commission’s “Racism. It Stops with Me” campaign for over 260 years.
- 7.7 acres of beachfront property near the Whitsundays AND 1,185 acres of farmland in Cambooya Valley AND 39 acres of semi-rural land with a 5 bedroom house in Ripley AND 550 acres of housing estate land in Redbank Plains.
- Pay the UQ Vice-Chancellor for 99 years.
- Over 1,900 new teaching positions on the average wage.
- About 10 private islands.
- Sick of the single life? Get 3,698,090 of those husband pillows.
- Or embrace the crazy cat lady life with 114,018 and a half cats.
- 24,448,897 bottle of passion pop to visit those dark, bad life choices you made when you were younger.
- Satisfy Editor Penelope with 38,125kgs of truffles.
- Install typical solar panels for 17,428.5 homes around Queensland.
- Buy 2.3 versions of Malcolm Turnbull’s house.
- A really big national piss-up to celebrate moving Australia Day to May 8th, M8.
- Buy one hundred twenty-two thousand prize racing Pigeons.
- Lease the country of Lichtenstein for 8 months.
- Be an absolute baller with 75,041 ounces of gold.
- 6 million bottles of Bondi Sands fake tan for the pasty white politicians.
- Buy a 53% share of Grindr.
- Try to be that dorky old guy that goes around the city in a Segway because you can buy 20,336 at this price.
- Clean the Brisbane river entirely 6 times.
- The cost of becoming a Republic.
- 25 years of high-class escorts.
- 902,366 nesting houses for greater gliders.
- Planting enough trees to sequester 5030 tonnes of carbon dioxide each year.
- 214 years of a Prime ministers wage.
- Fully fund the tuition of 4560 nurses.
- 15% of UQ’s planned infrastructure for the next 20 years.
- 11,141,552 halal snack packs.
- Over 938,462 rainbow roller skates to have a fabulous time in.
- Have the same turnover as the UQU 5.5 times over.
- Purchase 14,118 Drones to spy on parliament house.
- 19,108 Canon 700Ds, talk about UQ Stalkerspace.
- Not ready for the Australian summer yet and want a real throwback to winter? Try 19,212 trips to Antarctica?
- 113,067 new iPhone 7s or Google pixels.
- Or do you miss the good ole days before phone smarter than you? You can still buy 2,140,726 brick phones.
- You could even create your own brick with 33,328 3D printers.
- 152,501 life-size replicas of big-foot, might symbolise how anything can happen.
- You can fly to NZ in Emirates business class 16,166 times to visit old mate Barnaby and Ludlam.
- Might be enough to check all the pollies citizenships??
- be the cool kid in class with 11,090909 Snake Eyes: A Nicolas Cage Activity Book.
- Supply morning marmalade with 328,125 days of Yoplait Yogurt.
- Maybe also supply Morning Marmalade with marmalade so it makes actual sense.
- UQ represent in 1,878,367 UQ jumpers.
- Be the big spender at uni with 1,220,000 one hundred dollar bills.
- Be so hip with 3,331,512 Kylie lip kits.
- Film a whole season Game of Thrones, move out of the way HBO, Australia is coming.
- Or be even more hip with 6,106,106 DVD copies of Everybody Loves Raymond Season 2
- 13,555,555 Netflix subscriptions for all those who are up with the times.
- Still, have Splendour FOMO? you could buy 246,464 full Splendour tickets with camping.
- Or you still have time to get 299,019 full Falls tickets with camping.
- Film the movie The Room 16 times. Overkill much?
- Impress your college mates with 4,066 brand new Rolex watches.
- Want to avoid the reality of the Marriage equality debate, buy 221,838 PS4 virtual reality consoles.
- Like the new Rick and Morty season? Buy 8,138,759 miniature figurines.
- Tired of this list? Maybe you could buy 7,178 sleeping pods.
- Love lounging in the Great Court? Build your own with 4,093,959 sandstone bricks.
- Film the video clip to Lil Dicky’s pillow talk 174 times, so worth it.
- Need some spice in your life? Why not buy 12,842,105 servings of tacos.
- Do some light reading with 4,681,504 copies of Trump: The Art of the Deal.
- Hire a whole team of more creative people to write a better list than this.
- 10 body guards and 33 years of protection for me for writing this article.
tl;dr – there are certainly a lot of things you could spend $122m on instead of a nonbinding survey.
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